Bethenny Frankel, 10 rules,

I am reading "A Place of Yes", by Bethenny Franke - 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life.  It's really good.  It's also one of those books, I believe, that finds you when you need it rather then when you are looking for something to read.  Let me explain...
I am at a crossroads.  I feel like I am floundering.  For the last 7 months I have been bartending full time at a bar where this fall, I will have bartended part-time for 20 years.  An opportunity had come along and I decided to take it.  Our bar manager took another job, my temporary job had just ended.  This temporary job started as a six week project that turned into six months.  Prior to that I spent almost 23 years in a position that I thought that I liked.  Turned out I didn't and they knew it and thankfully laid me off instead of firing me.  So since April 15, 2011, I have been floundering.  Feeling like this is/was an opprotunity to find out what I "really" wanted to be when I "grew up".  Here's what I found out so far: there aren't a lot of jobs out there, when you get an interview and the interviewer says "It's just a formalty but we need to do second interview" they don't really mean, I don't know what I want to do and even though I've been a part-time bartender for almost 20 years, doing it full time and managing my friends, is not my cup of tea.  All I have accomplisted in the last year and 1/2 is gaining some weight, depleteing my savings and trying to figure out what my next step is supposed to be.
Enter Bethenny Frankel.   Now I am a full blown Real Housewifes fan.  I've watched them all.  I always liked watching Bethenny on RHNY.  Then she created Skinnygirl Margarettas, sold it for $150 million bucks, got married, had a baby, got a talk show.  Easy peezy right? WTF.  I want to hate her, want to hate that it "worked" out for the skinny girl.  Pardon the pun.  But really does shit like this just happen to people?  It must....right?
I don't need to make $150 million dollars.  Not that I would turn it down, but really I would just like to have enough money to make each months bills with a little left over.  No, that's not true either.  I want to stop worrying so much about money.  To be comfortable - whatever that is.  What I am struggling with is finding what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life.  I don't really need to stay in HR which is where I was when I was laid off.  The temp job was at a boat factory in customer service and warranty - a warehouse type job.  I liked that job but it was because I knew it was a temp and I just had fun.  My friends would tease and say that I went from dress clothes to steel toes.  And well, as you know, I am currently a full time bartender - one that the owner has said should start looking for another job because neither they nor I am happy.  Part time bartending fun-full time, not so much.  I am applying for jobs, jobs that I think I would love, could do, or am applying just because it's what I used to do.
Okay...back to Bethenny.  This book, "A Place of Yes" has 10 rules to get everything you want out of life.  I am currently on Rule 6.  Chapters 1-5 have each resonated with me.  She tells her story and uses her experiences as examples.  Each chapter makes me think that yes I can do that.  I can have everything I want out of life.  I just can't seem to think of what that is. If I could figure out what my dream is, what I am supposed to do with my life, what is going to be the one thing that makes me happy, help me lose the 80 pounds I feel I should lose, keep my house clean, and find me a man....see my problem. 
I guess, I will keep you posted. 
BTW, this is a very random post, I know.  This is always the type of post that I wanted to share, but didn't want to world to know how crazy I was/feel sometimes.  Everyone else "out there" seemed so perfect that I felt like I couldn't have a meltdown.  But maybe this is what Nelle's Nook is.  A place (or Nook) where I can put all the shit that is in my brain that needs to get out of my brain and sent out into the blogworld.  So...here you go.
Until next time.  I am going to keep reading and maybe keep blogging about it.  Maybe you can help or maybe it will just help to get it out of the nook.  Maybe Bethenny will read it.  HA!
Ellsworth

Hello there,

A couple of weeks ago I had some friends over for a Scentsy party. Do you have Scentsy in your neck of the woods? While it's not new here in Minnesota, it was new to me. A very dear friend of mine was the advisor and it was nice to have friends over for some appetizers and wine. I wanted to include a picture of my table. I thought it turned out very pretty. Most of the dishes are from Target. I bought about 25 of the appetizer plates from their new white line. They were only 1.99 and I will probably buy some more because I HATE to use paper plates. They never match the rest of the dishes. The plates that the cupcakes are on are from Ikea and were a gift from my sister. I served a simple meat and cheese plate with fresh mozzarella, smoked Gouda and provolone. As I type, I have forgotten the type of meat I used. It was Italian I know that. The grapes helped fill the platter, again from Target, and provide a "healthy" choice. I had a beverage station set up on the counter along with a hot dip. It was a very fun night and very easy to put together. I plan to do more easy entertaining rather then do no entertaining because I think that it needs to be over the top and then I freak out.

Thanks for letting me share.

Fumbling through the new year

Unlike my previous posts, I am not going start another post by apologizing for not blogging lately. It's just a fact of life.

What's been happening lately? Well, I have started another new job, sorta. I started working full time at the bar where I have been working part-time for the past 20 years. I have assumed the manager's duties. It's been an okay transition. Not great but not bad. One of the other staff is not talking to me because she wanted those hours...or some of them. She, at the age of 28, has never worked full time as far as I know. She works one day shift per week. I have always worked 40 plus hours between a full time and part time job. I hope that this phase will pass because I did consider her a friend and would like to resume that. I am however standing firm in my position.

I enjoy going to work everyday. Something that I haven't experienced for over three years. We will have to wait and see if I can make it financially. One thing about a small "neighborhood" bar, you see a lot of the same faces everyday. More on that to come.

This past weekend, I spent Saturday with my ex-fiance's ex-wife. I spent 8 years with this man and over the course of time, his 1st ex-wife and I have become friends. We shared some life tragedies and had the same end goal...raise a son to become a good man. Hopefully, we have done that. So as a weekend get away, she and her husband and 4 other couples came to my town for an afternoon/evening drinking, eating and laughing. Weird...maybe but it works for us. Also, she and I are the only two people who understand his lies and stories because we both lived them.

I did have some camera envy a couple of weeks ago. My brother was visiting from Iowa and brought his new "toy". A Canon TI? I think that's the name of it. It cost around $800.00 with two lenses. I may have to start saving my pennies. At one point, he said to me..."You canNOT take anymore pictures of your cats." As soon as he sends me the disk, I'll be posting about my babies.

So that's been my fumbling so far this year. I haven't so much as knit a stitch, worked on any embroidery, read a book, nothing. I hope that it's just a January thing. So what's happening in your neck of the woods? Somebody write back with something to make my January fumbling seem normal.

Nelle

Monday Morning (mourning)?

Good morning!
I shouldn't say mourning, except I was sort mourning the end of another weekend and not much crossed off my list of things to do. It's not like I didn't do anything, but my list is just seems so freaking long. So what did I get done....well, on Friday evening I went to a winter holiday parade in my small town. It's the one that I helped originate and organize. It was bittersweet to watch knowing that I helped start this tradition but that because of personal differences, I was no longer a part of it. Now I've talked about this parade before but for those who may be new, let me set the scene....Small town central MN. Temperature at a balmy 14 degrees, lighted and musical floats, princesses, and a wonderful fire department collecting Toys for Tots. We then decided to "warm up" with chili at the chili feed fund raiser and some ice cold Coors Lights. It was a fun night to spend with friends.

Saturday was a work day so not much accomplished except for driving all over town to find vanilla almond bark. Whew! That certainly was a struggle.

Sunday is one of my favorite activities of the season....baking with my friend. Except this year, we both were not feeling it. See here in Minnesota, when there is no snow, we have a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit. There are parts of MN with snow, just not here in central MN. Now, I struggle with this because I'm driving 64 miles round trip to work and love that the roads are clear, but we are going to need some snow for Christmas. How about you? Are you in the Christmas spirit?

Here's what we made: Cut-outs, Oreo balls and dipped Oreos, and a candy that my mom used to make. She had gotten some other stuff done before I got there so I have to make some of those at home. This has to get done before long so I can mail it to my parents in Florida.

And that brings us to Monday morning (mourning)...I was just wishing that we could have to Sundays this week.

Enjoy your day and we will talk again soon!
Nelle

Christmas lists and the New Year!

Hi everyone!

I hope that you are all in the middle of your Christmas to-do lists and activities. Each year I think I'm going to get so much done but it looks like that isn't going to happen like I'd like it to. I decided that I need to "scale back" in order to get anything accomplished. So here are my goals for Christmas this year: 1) mail cards only to friends and family that I don't see often. This way I'm not spending time sending to people I see regularly. I will also be able to include a letter if my list is not too long. 2) Bake...I love to bake but my time is short this year. I plan to bake just enough to mail as gifts or to give out to friends and family. 3) Stick to the shopping list. How about you? What does your list look like?

At the end of December, my temporary job will be ending. What started out as an eight week gig turned into 6 months. Let me just tell you that while I love my co-workers the 64 mile round trip is starting to wear on me. What's next? Well, I have been a part-time bartender at the same bar for almost 20 years. Recently the day manager quit and beginning January 2nd, I will become a full time bartender and will assume the duties as such. I'm very excited and hope that this is something that I will like on a full time basis. This past year has lead me down some paths that I never thought that I would travel. It was in that spirit that I thought I would give this a whirl. One definite perk...3 mile round trip.

Wish me luck. At least I'll have a lot of stories to blog about. Make sure that you enjoy, not stress over, all the Christmas activities. Hopefully, I'll have my New Year's Resolutions thought out soon and will share them.

Nelle

What in the world have I been up too....

Hello all,

Once again, I've been a slacker here in the blog world. Sorry.

In re-reading my last post I discovered what you all probably already knew....snore! How could I just ramble on about that crap? Going forward, I will try to be a little more uplifting.

So what have I been up to? Well, I am still working the temporary job assignment. It's been extending twice...now through the end of the year. It's in a town about 30 miles from me and the hours are from 6:00 am to 2:30 pm. I do like the work and the people. I don't however, look forward to the drive in the wintertime. The hours are a little tough because I need to get up at around 4 - 4:30 am. YUP! I said 4:00. When I bar tend one night a week, I get a little tired.

I have been busy working at the bar. Those of you who follow me may remember that I have been a bartender at a little home town bar for about 20 years. In fact, next year it will be 20 years. I am going to have to start filling you all in about the characters there. Some have become life long friends and some....well let's just say I have called the police on them. We have everybody from millionaires to the homeless and everyone in between.

I also went to Vegas for my friend's 40th birthday. This trip was already planned prior to my getting laid off. It was fun...not fabulous. I think I expected more out of Vegas. I did see a couple of shows while I was there. Vegas the show and Peep Show. One was good and one was okay. I am not much of a gambler so I spent my money shopping. I almost got a tattoo but thought that I had some interviews coming up and decided that wouldn't look very professional. I should have gotten the tattoo because I never got the interviews. UGH!!!!

I also took a class on embroidery. It's a group of women that meet monthly at my favorite quilt shop. I'll post more on my project with some pictures later. Now I am discovering new embroidery blogs and I love them as much as the quilting and knitting ones. If only I was dog-ass tired when I get home maybe I would accomplish a little more.
I hope that you are still out there and let me know what's going on with you. I will try to be attentive.

ttyl

nelle (ellsworth)

Peyton Place and other random thoughts

Hello everyone!

For the one or two people that follow me (if there are that many), I apologize for the lack of participation over the last couple of months. I just felt that I didn't have much to say. In other words, I was licking my wounds from a couple of months of getting "kicked while I was down".

Here is, in a nut shell, what went down.

1. Laid off from my job of 23 years

2. The guy I was seeing broke up with me. (in truth, he was 19 years younger then me so I knew it had an expiration date...but still.

3. The job that I interviewed for and thought that I would get, I didn't. I was 2ND.

4. My water heater broke and flooded my basement for several days.

5. The guy that broke up with me came back to me and said that he made a mistake and could he call me only to text me the next day and tell me that his work was sending him out of state to work for two or more months.

I think that there was something else, but I can't remember. At any rate, I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought to myself, is it ever going to get better? Or actually, I just sat around and waited for the next shoe to drop. So a friend of mine suggested that I have my "cards" read. My tarot cards, that is. She had been saying this to me for months prior but I just brushed her off saying that that was a bunch of malarky. But after all of these things started weighing on me, I thought, what the hell it couldn't hurt. I just really wanted to know...is it ever going to get better? When will this cloud of gloom and doom lift off of me? So I made the appointment and I have to admit, I felt 100% better after seeing her. I won't go into details because it's not something I am ready to share yet, but all the cards were favorable and I felt that the sun shone a little brighter that day.

How has my life changed since then, well....(1) I have obtained a temporary job doing something completely different then I was before. Let's just say that I went from business casual to wearing steel toe shoes and carrying my lunch in a sack and I LOVE IT. Ok...my lunch "sack" is a brightly striped bag that if it was bedazzled a little could go almost anywhere. But what couldn't with a little bedazzling? (2) I have obtained a library card and have become obsessed with it, (3) I have discovered that I LOVE shopping at the Goodwill and have found many, many bargins there. More on that later. (3) I discovered or should I say rediscovered that I have the best friends and family in the world. They have been very supportive to me during all of this.

So on to the title of my post...Peyton Place. Since I am OBsessed (hear Rachael Zoe's voice here) with my library card, I have read book after book. I have ordered them online and waited with anticipation for each on to be ready for pick up. The Help, now that one took a while. I was 117 in queue for that. About every other day I would log in to see what number I was and zip....there it was. Now that book was AHmazzing. But what I got curious about was a book that was mentioned in The Help, the one-time banished book called Peyton Place. So I "rented" it from the library and I couldn't put it down. My version was actually a twofer. I got Peyton Place and Return to Peyton Place. I highly suggest reading both of these. There is one MAJOR flaw in the second book. They changed the name of the main characters. I would have to say that it was just a job of poor, very poor editing. So I say...check it out. It was very interesting to see what was so risque about it back in 1956. It also made me think about how things have changed and what we are used to seeing on a regular basis on the TV, internet, magazines, etc.

Next on my list is Fried Green Tomatoes. Which when you look it up at the library it is listed as having some gay issues. Don't really remember that from the movie. I'll read and report back to you.

Enjoy the fall...talk to you again soon.....